You think were Upset about the Chargers losing? Check this guy out!

This is one of the funniest sports spoofs I have ever seen. If you think we are bitter about the Chargers losing in the AFC Championship game take a look at this nefarious guys response to the Cowboys losing to the Giants. It's a must see. I know this the 2nd time in as many weeks there is something to do with Hitler but really its a coincidence. I swear I'm not a white supremacist. Really!

Tough Crowd!

OK. I officially agree that the Nazi Bill B. is in bad taste. Now that Ive calmed down from the weekend loss.

On to football! What the hell does it take to keep a job in San Diego and to get fired from a job in San Diego? Is it 'opposite day or decade' for that matter? Let me get this right.

Marty goes 14-2. Your fired!

Norv's head coach record was hovering around .500 and he is hired.

James Lofton (receiving coach) makes great strides with the Charger receivers this year, especially V. Jackson and he gets canned.

Matt Simon- Hired this year as RB coach and he presides over unprecedented performances from the 2nd and third string RB's when the NFL RB MVP gets injured. AND HE gets fired.

Man that is a rough crowd over there! I know. I know. Norv wants HIS people in there and James Lofton didn't really have such a great receiving core the last 5 years and most notably we CUT Wes Welker from our rooster but wasn't that more of an AJ thing?

I thought Simon did an outstanding job this year but what do I know? Not much because I picked the Chargers to beat the PATS. Can anyone out there enlighten me about why they got fired. I hear that Lofton was shocked that he got the boot and wasn't given a specific reason why.

The Brady Cast

Mostly NON Charger News Warning!

First off. My apologize to anyone who is offended that Bill B. was shows as an SS officer. It was sent in by a fan of the site who was angry and I was pretty angry at the Pats when I posted it so there it is... As far as those who were offended by the picture......well. You should be. Too many people in the world seem willing to drift towards a corporate run fascist state that wages war non-stop in order to stimulate business and take advantage of a world that 'largely' wants peace by 'preemptively' attacking other nations as this is the social Darwinism theory that the Fascists of the mid 20th century adhered to. The stagnant nations who are not dynamic are doomed to fail.

I don't think it is a good idea to let that creep back into modern political philosophy but it already has. So I think a nice reminder of how bad people can be in the name of nationalism is from time to time. If you ban these kinds of pictures then peoples memories fade. Just ask a German about WWII where the swastika is illegal. Very similar to the Japanese today, they wonder why people are still angry and blame the US for destroying their cities with fire bombs.

Hummmmm. Well I know ill get flamed for all of this but you people seem to only get your comments in when you are angry. So go ahead and hate away on me. Feel free to share your thoughts. Ill be back to football tomorrow to blast all you LT haters.

IN the meantime, I think this picture of the Brady Bunch is so happy happy nice nice that it will take away the evil of the Bilichick in a nazi uniform picture.

In all honesty, I was looking on google for a picture of Tom Brady in a foot cast. But when i searched "brady cast" this is what I got. Happy Happy Nice nice. enjoy!

Proud of the Charger but still...SCREW New England!

This Picture might offend some of you but quite honestly I am not sure who I hate more. Bilichick or Hitler. No you know what? I hate Mr. Cut my sweat shirt sleeves more right now.

Chargers did a good job of hanging in with the Patriots with a double handicapped Rivers and the best RB in the NFL on the sideline. I am looking forward to next year already! Look out NFL! Anywho... Ill have post soon but right now I think I need to drink my sadness away and root against the F'in NY Giants and that sissy Eli Manning.

World Turned UpSide Down-The Battle of Yorktown

OK. Since I love History so much here is my shocker analogy of the Chargers-Pats game and my point spread prediction that is NEVER off. I might be wrong on how many points are scored but not the spread. Nope.


No one gives the Chargers a chance on Sunday. Point spread is 13.5. Media is disappointed we ruined their Colts-Pats game blah blah blah. Well my county men (that isn't a mispell. I mean San Diego County!) Maybe. Just maybe the Chargers are the American militia and the Patriots are the Red Coats. The Chargers are big underdogs going against what is considered the best football team ever. Unbeatable with the record to prove it. But so were the British. The worlds biggest empire who didn't take its opponents seriously. We'll the British got a real rude awakening when they lost at Yorktown. Bilichick is Cornwallis commandeering his troops to victory after victory. Their hubris and overconfidence is obvious. But hey. Maybe they can back it up. Well so the Red Coats thought too.

Surely, Dave, you aren't saying Norv Turner is George Washington? We'll no. They don't really have too many of the same qualities except both were very soft spoken and almost shy and both had losing records until it came to crunch time when it counted. Come to think of it Washington and Norv do have a lot in common but only if Norv can beat the Pats as GW beat Cornwallis in effect ending the Revolutionary War.

But who, you may say, is Lieutenant General de Rochambeau from France. There was no way the Americans win that war without doubling the size of their troops with trained fighters from Britain's arch enemy and 2nd biggest world power France. Not to mention the help from the French Navy that kept the British from resupply. Maybe we can spoil all the food in Foxboro and block traffic and we can be the French!. But who the hell wants to be French? I don't. Crap. I just spent 20 minutes writing this damn post and I'm too excited about the game to make a coherent sentence.

I have no idea and maybe this analogy sucks (pretty sure it does!) but if The Chargers can beat the Pats then I come out looking like a genius. I hope the Chargers area traveling with a marching band that can play "The World Turned Upside Down". Just like at Yorktown when Cornwallis surrendered because I predict we are going to need them.

Charger win by 3. A field goal as time runs out. 20-17 Chargers go to the Super bowl. Make your bets now. OK Maybe a better analogy would have been Super Bowl XXXVI. Pats upset the greatest show on Turf. yeah that's it.

Special thanks to Morgino for the photoshopped battle of Yorktown with the Charger and Pats helmets.

Jerry Springer NFL

Update: as reported on local SD radio this afternoon by Charger fans that were at the game about 5 feet from the Rivers-crowd exchange, it was nothing for than him saying 'Thanks for coming out" or something like that. I guess the Indy fans were saying things like "hope you never play again. Hope your injured for life. Your wifes a ho. etc.... while Rivers was on the training tables at the sidelines with the injury. I wonder if I could have held my tongue as well.

Wow. The Press is really letting Rivers and the Chargers have it. Overnight, the Chargers have somehow become the Raiders. The black sheep of the NFL. Articles are comparing Rivers smack talk to T.O.! Wow. I know its these writers jobs to 'make' a story so they can have something to write about in their articles but I think this is going a little too far.

But you know what? I LIKE IT! I would rather be the cocky surprise team that talks smack than the NFL franchise that cant get it together that always chokes. Apparently, in order to be every one's darling NFL team you have to have a socially retarded head coach who was actually caught cheating, a WR that beats women and a star QB with a bastard son. Awesome! That sure is the America that I love.

I guess what I am saying is that the NFL really is a microcosm of much of the US now. Remember how you would watch the Jerry Springer show? It was outrageous and disgusting but somehow it made you feel better to watch it on those days where you were stuck to the couch eating your McDonald's that you bought from your unemployment check. Somehow, Jerry Springer made us feel better about ourselves because the people fighting on screen were REALLY losers. That's why Springer was on in the afternoons while you were supposed to be at work. It was free therapy and a good way to advertise those check cashing places.

But really when you take a look at it. Most of America really is Jerry Springer. Even our highest paid most valued professional athletes have all the makings of Springer. Especially the Pats. And their fans go out of their way to prove me right.

So let me join in the fight and make Steve come out and break us up!

The Chargers are a little short on the low class trash since our star QB actually got married before bringing children into this world and our Star RB is a model citizen who's only criticism from the press is that he gets frustrated and a bit emotional when he loses. (Since when is it a bad trait to care a lot about something you worked hard to achieve?).

OK. Fine. People in the sports media press. I guess the Pats can be your team. Ill take my smack talkers over your Jerry Springer team any day. I now embrace this sudden back lash against the Chargers. Sounds like sour grapes to me. SO here is my first of many pictures of Tom Brady and other Pats.

Send in your pictures to me. Photoshop away! They cant be too dirty but ill keep putting them up! email them to firenorv@yahoo.com

NEW! Give Norv A Raise t-shirts now Available!

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Be the first on your block to sport these once in a lifetime items! Just 3 easy payments of $19.99 and I will also include a free newspaper!

Act now! While supplies last!

Was it over when the Germans bombed Pearl Harbor? Hell no!

Actung! For the benefit of our shut in readers who live with their moms' this is a reference to Bluto's speech in Animal House. I am fully aware that the Germans didnt bomb Pear Harbor. It was the Russians. duh!

Enough is a enough guys. I expect more creativity out of you guys. We have a talented team of people spending way to much time posting on blogs. I know we can do better.....I feel it right here.... In my heart....

First off. You can post under any name you want. Lets cut out this Anonymous crap. If you take the extra 2 seconds to fill in what name you want your comment under we can all have a good laugh. If your post is talking about how your going to sell Norv Dart boards then you should post as "Donald Trump Jr". If your commenting on how you think I must be drunk when I make my posts please list your comment name as "Bill W. or friends thereof.." I mean come on people. Lets take this up to the next level and get our A game on for the AFC Championship game!

Side Notes:
To the guy who asked if I was drunk when I make my posts. Well sir, I heard that a glass of red wine is good for your heart so 5 glasses and a 12 pack should help out my other organs as well. It is my wellness plan.

To the guy who told me I should make dart boards..... I say go full speed ahead and make them. If they are 100% as successful as my t-shirts you might lose even more money than I did!-
Signed, Bill Gates.......

Dont forget to buy a t-shirt at www.givenorvaraise.com!!

I am a man of my word....

OH Yea. By the way.... I called a 4 point win by the Chargers. I might not have been right on the score but my spread skills are undeniable! Chargers won by 4 as I predicted!! Once again.

Is this the President? The Prime Minister? A movie star? NO.. It's Norv Turner! Coach of the San Diego Chargers who are now going to play New England in the AFC Championship game.

As promised. If we won this game and we did better than Marty did I would put up a site called www.givenorvaraise.com so i did it. It should propogate within 24 hours.

I dont personally think we won just because of Norv but rather because of the talented team the Chargers have but the man DID GET THE JOB DONE so far. So I was wrong. You were right. There I said it. Now visit his fan site to comment on how long you want Norv to be the Chargers head coach and how much you love him. This will still be the bitter vent when you pissed site. The other site will be the happy, hold hands positive site. Now someone please hold my hand.

www.givenorvaraise.com

Steele City Saboteurs and the number 13.

I think the most accurate way to talk about the Chargers- Colts game is to talk about the 3 rivers rowdys. The blue collar bulls. The Steele City Slickers. Pittsburgh. Its not quite Phila. and its really more like Ohio but they always have one hell of a football team. Usually a favorite.

Now I know what your saying. "Hey Mr. FireNorv. NET guy! Were playing the Indianapolis Colts not the Pittsburgh Steelers you dip shit!" "The Jags already beat Pittsburgh you sorry sack!"

Ahh but here is were your are completely wrong. (as usual).

This game has EVERYTHING to do with Pittsburgh. Please allow me to elaborate so you can use this discussion on your other forums, blogs and websites and take credit for my insight like you always do. (Don't think i don't google myself all the time and see it. Mr. Fancy pants! If you happen to google me, as well, just ignore those naked pictures of me, the farm animals and the peanut butter. We all have our youthful indiscretions...)

I remember back in the 1994 season there was a Chargers team who by chance was the little team that could. Oh they ended the season at 11-5 and went into the playoffs. (sound familiar?)

Well this team made it to the AFC Champ game against a heavily favored Pittsburgh Team. No one gave the Chargers a shot. The announcers and fans in Pittsburgh were telling them there was no chance they would win. Well low and behold this Chargers team ,who was led by an up and down Stan Humphreys, ended up upsetting the otherwise unstoppable Pittsburgh during the regular season in a shocker of a win led by the defense by only 2 points (37-35) but they also got to face them in the post season as well.... You follow me yet?

Thats right. The Chargers beat INDY in a very similiar game by only 2 points this year. Weird huh? Well it gets better!

By the time the Chargers advanced to the playoff game with Pittsburgh no one thought they would win. Oh but they did! In a very close game where the defense gave the up and down offense led by a really good back named Natrone Means a fighting chance. This game ended in a score of 17-13. And as well all know the Chargers pulled it off. Also, strangely enough if you don't include the 1992 playoff run the last time the chargers had won a playoff game before that was 13 years. Just like this year...... it was 13 seasons before that we won a playoff game.

Ok so we have (almost) two basic playoff droughts broken after 13 years.

Underdog Chargers taking out favored team in a 2 point victory during the regular season (both TIMES) only to face them again in a divisional or championship game. Both teams led by defense with a star running back at the helm who had a hot and cold QB.

Does history repeat itself? Is 13 really a lucky number? Oh I think so and I would bet that the score of the game this week ends up being 17-13 Chargers win. The Chargers will repeat 1994-95 season and win this game with same score. Just interchange Indy for Pittsburgh and Div game for Champ game and you have the makings of some spooky shit!

Shit, I wouldn't be surprised if they scored the same points each quarter as they did back in 1994-95. You can take THAT to the bank my friends. Oh but you'll have to wait until Monday because the banks are closed the day the Chargers will beat INDY as it is Sunday Jan. 13th......... oh that's right bitches! I know you got goose bumps now! Better go down to Caliente tonight.

(all facts are from Wikipedia and therefore MUST be completely 100% accurate. I don't care what nfl.com says.)

Conspiracy Theory!

Who shot JFK? What are those jet trails... Really? Did Bush fix two elections? Do the Pats cheat every game? I don't know the answer to 2 of these conspiracy theories but now i have my own!

My song I entered into the xx1090AM Scott and BR Idol show didn't make the finals! This sends the winner to the game on Sunday to see the Chargers/ Colts game.....

What nerve! It was a masterpiece to rival Mozart wrapped in Yanni! This song made Beethoven look like Britney Spears. The only solution I can come up with is that they found out I was the firenorv.net guy and they told the Chargers. AJ was then awakened from his daytime sleeping casket and made several phone calls to government officials whom then drive Black SUVs with black tinted windows to a Dunkin' Donuts where they proceeded to send a text message to Mighty 1090 and tell them that Norv said not to let me in the finals.

This sounds like the logical way things must have happened. I'm going to go chop my ear off now.

You're gonna do it. I got no fuckin' lime.

I don't feel so bad that the Chargers are 8 point dogs in Vegas. The Jaguars are 13.5 point underdogs. I think J-ville gives the Pats a run for their money if not outright beating them. Look for a close game in New England.

As for the Chargers. I wont make my prediction until Friday. I know many of you take my almost always spot on predictions and place huge bets. Just remember. Internet gambling is illegal!! Why? I don't really know. Probably has something to do with Vegas buying Congressman boats and hookers and blow. (Not necessarily in that order!) I would think the blow comes after the boat and before the hookers. Same reason here in CA we have these ads against the Indian Gaming. Who cares if they expand. Its their land. It helps me pay less in taxes. All the anti-commercials are paid for by Las Vegas gaming interests and they don't even have any thing valid to say in the ads. They just put scary music to pictures of slot machines and say things like "The Casino's made "Sacremento" contracts and agreements"! Yea. No Shit! That is where the capital of CA is.

Now If I was a betting man. (Maybe I am. Maybe I'm not!). I would bet on the Jags to cover. Now... I know what some of you tea totters are saying... "He's promoting satanistic gambling which leads to hookers and blow and boat parties". Well I'm not. I didn't say anything about becoming a politician or a radio DJ. So shut it!

Just remember not to bet what you cant afford to pay back or Jimmy will come looking for you!

(This post dedicated to Bill B. and Dom.Not that they sanction any of this unruly behaviour)

Is this the NFL or the WWE?

First off. Thanks for the shout out for the site from xx 1090AM this morning but its firenorv.NET not dot com. Some company bought that name to resell and its too expensive. Ok on to my post......

Wide Open. How did our guys get so wide open? Rivers comes through in a pinch. At half time I feared that my gut might have been right. You could almost hear the boo's inching up from the crowd. The defense looked porous but never broke and didn't allow any touchdowns. The offense? We'll they were offensive. In the smelly way. The Chargers looked down and out.

But wait! Only down by 6 at halftime and our super hero LT was limited to what seemed like negative rushing yards but the Chargers had someone who would come in to the ring with a folding chair and smackdown the Titans. Phillip "the babbling brook" Rivers. Like a WWE (WWF for anyone older than 26) fight this game seemed scripted. It looked like the Chargers were about to be pinned and we the fans were like the hot chick on the side of the ring in some weird jungle outfit rooting them on. When out of nowhere Rivers grabs the folding chair or construction ladder or any other odd thing that shouldn't be laying near a fighting ring, and beats the Titans defense senseless. With all the acrobatic interceptions and plays by Cromartie all season, I am now convinced that the Chargers watch game tape of professional wrestling.

Not that I mind. As long as someone lays the smackdown on our opponent like Super Fly Snooka on Andre the Giant. Look out INDY. Can you smell what the Chargers have cooking????!!!!!!!!!!!!

Rain brings out the Boo Birds during the playoffs in San Diego

I know its been a long time since a post. I took the holidays off. The Chargers have kept winning and there hasn't been anything funny to talk about. Now AJ Smith gets an extension before the Chargers win a playoff game. That's funny.

Did The TUNA call AJ and Dean Spanos saw it on AJ's caller ID? Did he get scared and/or jealous like a 19 year old sorority girl and rush out to offer him the extension 3 months early? HUMMM...

OK AJ. You have been excellent in the draft. I even think your no shit attitude is going to really come in handy the next few years your dealing with players. But Norv? What happens if we play the odds and lose this playoff game? That means that we came in one game LESS than last year. That's right. We had a bye last year. So in theory we would have to go the AFC Championship game to better last years season. But in all reality we have the same team as last year so that should be expected. Not with Norv. Sure the team has come together. Sure some of the players might think that the booing and "Marty" chants they heard where aimed at them. But they weren't. They were aimed at AJ and NORV.

Does anyone really want to tell me that the players think they have a better chance of winning with Norv than Marty or many other coaches for that matter? Do you think they wouldn't prefer to have Bill C. come out of retirement to coach them or another coach who has done it in the past? This season was in spite of Turner. Now go out and don't get out coached in these two playoff games and Ill shut my trap forever more. But mark my words....... if the Chargers play the same game against the Titans they did a few weeks ago and they lose.... "Marty" will be the only think everyone in the Chargers organization hears until next Sept.

Lets hope we hear "ChAAAARRRGERSSSS" instead of Boo's and "Marty chants" in this rainy rematch of that damned Jets game loss.

My prediction..... Chargers 21- Titans-17. But my gut and prior experience tell me Titans win by a field goal in the final 27 seconds after trailing the Chargers by 14 at the half.

I hope my gut is wrong.